All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize