Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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