Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
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Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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