We won't sleep together?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize