Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Say something about gay babies.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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