if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize