dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
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Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
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I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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