Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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