guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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