He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize