Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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