I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize