We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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