dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
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I looked at my own cervix.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
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The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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