My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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