Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dear god my vagina.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize