I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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