Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize