i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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