he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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