Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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