spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize