Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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