i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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