Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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