also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize