I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
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