Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
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My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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