10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize