ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize