the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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