I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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