Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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