I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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