He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize