This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize