i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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