can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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