would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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