how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
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i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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