my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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