i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize