Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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