3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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