Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize