So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
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Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
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Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
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