You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
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I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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