So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize