just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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