It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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